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​ The Time I Had A Pet Rock

When you think of pets usually cats, dogs, rabbits and even snakes come to mind. But this is the internet and the internet thinks otherwise. As you may know, wikiHow is filled with weird articles and you’ve probably come across one of its many pet rock articles. I mean, there’s literally hundreds of them! Now, rather than doing something useful and with my time, I decided to follow one of these articles and join the cult of pet rocks!

First, I was forced to journey into the dark and treacherous land which is outside. There I found this rock and being the ever-creative person I am, named it Rocky. Because it’s the 21st Century, it’d be wrong to assume Rocky’s gender so I will refer to Rocky as “it”. Look how photogenic Rocky is!

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Because Rocky is not a sentient being, I cannot feed him normal food so I had to resort to stimulating his other senses. (I know that makes no sense but those were the instructions on wikiHow)

I did this by indulging Rocky with rock music. Look how much it enjoys Evanescence!

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wikiHow has also stressed the importance of hygiene amongst pet rocks. Therefore, it is important to bathe Rocky once a day. Rocky loves to be pampered with bubble baths in particular.

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Like a dog or a cat, a rock also displays exceptional amounts of intelligence and Rocky is no different. Within a week, I was able to teach it many tricks. He can now:

Sit

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Stay

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Play Dead

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And Even Fly!

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I was particularly impressed at the wide range of care tips I got from wikiHow and I hope I was a good owner to Rocky!

In all seriousness though, this is an actual thing. Look it up!

Don’t forget to share and comment!

XOXO WanillaBerry